Couch to 5K

  Okay so I am taking another page from my friend Mallory's book and have started to attempt the couch to 5k program. I downloaded the app on my Iphone for .99 it really helps me since I need someone guiding me or I will just throw in the towel. Basically it tells you when to jog then when to walk and it can also GPS you which is how you know how long your mile is. Today was my second workout and lets see..well...someone please tell me this gets easier!! How can running be this hard, when so many people do it on a daily basis, and this is only my second day? If you are not familiar with the couch to 5k, in the first 3 days you literally only jog like 3-4 minutes,the rest is walking, you are supposed to work your way up to jogging a 5k (3. something miles in 9 weeks). Already my time is longer than the first day and my shins still hurt (I think I need better sneakers, but still!) However I will say this program can't be a total bust because soo many people do it including my friend Mal who is NOW training for the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon or marathon? I can't remember. Anyway so awesome and so excited for her, maybe one day I will be signing up with her (Hey, I wanna run with Minnie too!!).

   My plan is to be active 6 days a week. 3 Running, 3 in the gym or at Zumba or both, 1 day to think about how active I am being:) In my head right now this sounds like an awesome plan and I could probably add gym to one of the running days also if I really wanna get crazy. I know I can do this right now but we will see what happens when I go back to school in March, but then again they have a swimming pool. I'd love to take up swimming!! So that's all for now ... Today I am going to attempt to make these low cal pumpkin cupcakes from skinnytaste.com with the leftover pumpkin I had frozen from the holidays. Pumpkin is really hot right now, I have found so many articles about how great it is for not only your body but for your skin!! In women's health I found a pumpkin and honey face mask that reduces redness!! Who doesn't love a mask you can eat!?!?  I'd love to hear some of your favorite low cal recipes, and/or sites...

I'm sorry does that make you un-comfortable?

 Okay so lately I have noticed when talking to people regarding weight (no I don't mean that I'm like "hey so about YOUR weight") I mean I am just talking in general about my own weight saying something like "yeah I am too heavy for that" or "yeah I've gained so much weight since then" or whatever. People get really un-comfortable, you would think I started talking about my sex life or something. They automatically feel like they have to deny the fact I am heavy or say "No you're not" or give me a look like "you're crazy". I mean yes I may be a bit hard on myself as I will continue to be until I lose the weight, but I am very aware of the number on my scale as well as the comparison of your skinny ass to mine. So it is now clear to me since the last few encounters regarding weight that starting this blog was an excellent idea. Now I can talk about weight all I want and not have to get a weird look like I'm weird talking about weight, or maybe it is weird I don't know. Or maybe it's just me insecure about it so I feel like I have to let people know I know that I am heavy, but what am I ? a psychiatrist...nope. So for now I will keep the weight talk to the blog.

Food for Thought

First of all I want to give a thank you to my oldest friend Mallory and her Mom Jacquie for the shout out on their blogs, these are two very beautiful and inspirational women, I am so happy to have known them so long...


Now a little food for thought

I found this photo on facebook and I'm sure it's on many other sites with many various opinions. Some people think it's hating on each other by saying one is hotter than the other. While alot of people think It's meant to give a self esteem boost to women who aren't rail thin. I can definitely see sides of both but I can also say this doesn't make me feel either way. I hate when people are like "When will being heavier be in style again?" I don't feel Thin or Heavy should matter, it should be healthy, comfortable, and personable that matters. For once I'd just like to be seen as a person, not a body. While that isn't easy trying to be an actress and producer type people don't think you can even be on T.V. if you aren't a sample size just once it would be nice to hear "I love your voice, and personality" not "I really like your look...but" lucky for me I am only trying to do stage work :)  So for now I will continue working towards a healthier me not just a more acceptable me...


One last thing If you happen to visit this blog and live anywhere near NYC please come check out an Evening of One Acts Fri. & Sat. @ 8pm and Sun. @ 7pm @ The Producers Club W 44th Btwn 8th and 9th Presented by LoveCreek Productions Tkts $15.00


Hope everyone has an amazing weekend!!

For today I get an F for #FAIL

  Well today I actually hit A$$h*le status. After being awake for 16 hours straight, now 26 hours straight because I could absolutely not get to sleep last night (I really have to work on my sleep schedule, I am like a lazy college kid who scheduled their classes after 1pm). I went to a taping of the Rachael Ray Show!! Yayy!! Really fun experience but not at all what I was expecting. Well while there with my Mom she tells the stand-up comic/audience coordinator, whatever that I am a Off-Off Broadway Singer. I don't know why but that term Off-Off embarrasses me, I guess because really you could say any hole in the wall theatre type place in NYC is Off-Off to me it's still not good enough because I am not getting paid. Anyway he's like "oh you're a singer? This is happening" I completely brush it off because he's obviously just humouring my Mom. Wrong! After talking to everyone in the audience including me plugging in my Off-Off Broadway Appearance this weekend he says "so you have a little tune in you?" It really was so surreal that I did not know what to sing! (Mind you this isn't taped it's just him keeping the audience entertained but Rachael is there and very much present) First of all I didn't look my best, my hair looked like I was riding on a tilt-a-whirl, then me, a girl who's been doing Musical Theatre for 10 years now, and has done dozens upon dozens of 16 bars...this is what I sang in what sounded in my head like a baritone..."Start spreading the news...We're here at Rachael Ray" and that's it I gave him the mic back. If that isn't a F in the big book of opportunity I don't know what is and I am so pissed. I mean I am not saying if she heard me (how I really perform) she would take me backstage and get me on Broadway but at least I might get a mention. I mean I didn't sound bad don't get me wrong. Bad is the time I went and stood in the herd of cattle waiting to sing or not sing in my case to audition for Spiderman...THAT was beyond Fail. But this,today, a definite F. I guess today just wasn't my moment...and I will have to move on just like I would any other audition...but still I can't help but feel shame on myself as an actress... I'm going to walk the plank...

My arch nemesis Wii Fit Wendy

Wii Fit Wendy is such a B*#ch!! She's all "great!" "Ohhh" when you get on the board it's like geeze Wendy not everyone can be skinny like a board!!! :) Seriously though stop measuring my BMI then showing me how heavy I still am,then saying I haven't reached my goal that I set 30 Days ago?!? What? 50lbs in a month is unrealistic...gahhh.

She knows how to push buttons that Wendy but I still enjoy her Marching Band game, hula hooping, and riding my bike all over Wii World!! While Wii Fit is certainly a way to get exercise, I definitely don't see how it could be the only thing you use, well I guess if you do the other balance board games like Biggest Loser (that's a rough one) You COULD actually just do that. In conjunction with JUST DANCE!! Now that is a workout! Seriously if I do it for a good half hour, like really do it, not just wiggle the remote to get my score up, I sweat like I just finished an hour on the elyptical or something it's awesome!

Going back to Wendy, do you know that Biatch tollld me I need to lose 64lbs to be at the ideal weight?!? That's like my niece, I have to lose my niece off my body! I am however only 5' so clearly the size of a toddler. Obviously the next thing I did is put that as my goal for next month...just kidding I put 10lbs and she's still all that's a high goal BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! Yeah it's high If all I'm doing is going to your band camp but I'm not Wendy! I'm doing so much more!! SO SUCK IT!! Oh and my wii age or whatever, not 44!! I wasn't ready for that balance game ...

Yet another blog??

Ok so this is the first post of my new blog!! I am super excited to be writing probably my 10th blog?? Thank goodness I don't usually attach my name or you'd google me and find more blogs from awkward times in my life. Not that this isn't another one of those awkward times in my life but you know what I mean. My most recent awkward blog was about New Yorker issues or lack there of or maybe me at a lack of words, whatever I'm here now. THIS blog is intended to be my journey to return to the old spitfire,skinny,more confident version of myself, so not just the weightloss this is about a state of mind. I always hear people say "you've got to make your own story" Well this is mine...

Okay not to blame my husband but when I met him I was 50lbs lighter that's right! 50! That was 5 years ago! well take a look at the pictures that was then this is now the heavier picture is a little inaccurate since I've lost about 15lbs since then but the point is that was the low of low. I was the heaviest i've ever been, at a job I couldn't stand, living in an apartment I couldn't afford. Right now I actually am where I should be, I'm living in NYC again, I quit my job, I am married!, I started going to the gym 4x a week, and I am an NYC actress, livin' the dream.... last part...not so much.

If you are from NYC you know how many people are "actors" well what they tell me is as long as your doing your thing no matter where, paid or not, you are an actress! Or maybe that's just what I tell myself,either way that's what I am! So that is also part of my journey. Most of my blogs will certainly not be this long but this is a getting to know me blog. In addition to that I am going back to school! Yeah in case your wondering I'm 26! No I'm not going back for my masters! I'm still working on my bachelors well why? You ask? Because that's the part of "my story" that I made a wrong decision and went to acting school instead of going to a normal college but hey no regrets right? Wrong! I regret that very small but huge choice. You can't even be a receptionist without that stupid piece of paper!! So this is the part of my life when most people start having kids, Not I, I'm going to be that old mom one day and you know what? I'm okay with that...For now I will keep writing my story and hopefully one day it's a really good one! I'm a huge quote lover if you follow me on twitter you will notice I retweet many a quotes and I also have a lot of my own. A quote is a thought preserved like a picture. I'm constantly writing them down to save them and refer to them, they motivate me like nothing else.

This will be a blog about so many things, rants, workout regiments, eating habits, acting dilemmas, school life, friendship, maybe review some cool stuff, who knows. If you have read this whole thing I commend you. I hope you come back and maybe I can get to know you as well...

-Chris